Left in the Dark [1.1a]

Lincoln: The live season finale of the greatest show ever.

Lincoln: Every Saturday night it's the same thing.

Lincoln: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Lincoln: It's a ghost and it knows it's my name! (all scream)

Get the Message [1.1b]

Lori: LINCOLN!!

(Lincoln gasps and screams)

Lori: There's only one rule in this house. Stay out of my bedroom! If I catch you in here again, I will literally turn you into a human pretzel!

Lori: [plucking her nose, while talking to Bobby] If you want our couple name to be Lobby, you're going to have to show a little-- [notices Lincoln's letter on the floor] What's this? [picks it up and reads it] "Why Lori is the worst sister ever?". Bobby, I gotta go. I'm gonna turn Lincoln into a human pretzel! [Lincoln is scratching his head and jumps in shocked as Lori burst out of the bathroom with the letter on her hand showing the letter to him] LINCOLN! WHAT IS THIS?!!

Lincoln: Well, it's time to do the official dance of the Loud House: the Running Man! [puts on his new googles and starts to dance away from Lori's wrath]

Lori: When, I get my hands on you, I'm gonna-- [Luna emerges out censoring Lori's rant of rage]

Heavy Meddle [2.1a]

Lincoln: Hey, Luan.

Luan: Hey, Lincoln. What do you think of this joke? "If I were you, I'd go for the baboon!"

Lincoln: [Puzzled] I don't get it.

Luan: Oh! Well, that was just a punchline. I still gotta think of the setup. [Walks away]

[Lincoln heads up the stairs and makes it to the door to his room.]

Lori: When a girl picks on you, that only ever means one thing: she likes you!

Sisters: AAAAAHHH!!!

[Lincoln is just completely dumbfounded at explanation]

Lincoln: [Disbelieving] That's ridiculous! She shoved a sandwich down my pants! I was picking sesame seeds out of my butt for days!

Sisters: [swoon over such a non flirty prank] Aww!!!

Leni: So romantic...

Lori: That's a classic.

Lincoln: [Getting mad] You guys are nuts! She hates me! I'm gonna meet her today and give her a piece of my mind!

Lori: You need to give her a piece of your heart instead.

[Lincoln steps outside, marches up to the bully, and kisses her...]

Sisters: [sweetly] Aww!!!

Making the Case [2.2b]

[Outside the Loud House, a depressed Lincoln comes back]

Lincoln: I sure hope that worked. [opens the door only to find out that his sisters are STILL furious] It didn't work.

Lori: [sternly] Lincoln...

Lincoln: [apologetically] I know I embarrassed you and I can't undo it, and I'm sorry, but the least I could do was embarrass myself right along with you, that way we'd all be even.

Lynn: Even? You think this makes us even?

Lincoln: Well, I was trying to...

Lynn: Yours was way worse!

Lori: [cheerfully] Yeah, that video was hysterical!

[The girls surround Lincoln and ensure him that they forgive him]

Lincoln: So, we're good?

Lucy: We're good...brother.

Luan: Sorry you didn't win the trophy.

Lori: But we really appreciate what you did and thought you deserved something. [hands him a tiny trophy]

Lincoln: Wow. Thanks, guys.

[Lola and Lynn hug him and Luna pats him on the head; he runs to the case and places the trophy in his spot]

Lincoln: Most Improved Brother. [to the viewers] I did it. My sisters no longer despise me, Christina's switching classes, and I finally made the case.

[Another flatulent sound occurs and the other girls look at Lori suspiciously and in disbelief]

Lori: It was my shoe.

Driving Miss Hazy [3.1a]

No Guts, no Glori [3.2b]

The Sweet Spot [1.4A]

Lola: Beauty before age!

Lana: Yeah, so i should get it!

Luna: That seat belongs to me!

Leni: NO! I WANT IT!

Lincoln: You can yell all you want, but I'm already in the seat. And possession is 9-10th of the law.

Lynn: You're gonna possess a bruise in a minute!

(All the Loud girls look at Lincoln angry)

Lana: GET HIM!

(Lincoln rolls up the window and locks the door, only for Luan to open another door, angry)

Lincoln: Dang it! I forgot about the broken lock.

Luan: (tackles Lincoln) Ha!

Lincoln: Let go of me!

(All of the Louds start fighting in Vanzilla that they wake up the whole neighborhood, including Rita)

Rita: THAT IS ENOUGH!

(Lincoln uncovers the blanket angry with his sisters) (Lori looks down tied up)

Lori:

HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!

Lincoln:

Your power trip is over!

Project Loud House

In Tents Debate

Linc or Swim [8.1A]

Lori: Come on, guys. We'll just find another pool.

Lisa: Actually, we've been suspended from every aquatic recreation within a 60- mile radius.

[The gang stops and groans in agony]

Lori: Seriously? How are we gonna keep cool now?

Lincoln: Now this is the pool I can really get into. [heads for the exit] 🎵Lincoln's litte baby loves shortenin', short--🎵 [triggers the alarm] Whoops. Gotta pay first. [heads to the check out counter]

[The Loud House, the girls are in the kitchen trying to cool off with the contents from the freezer; Lincoln sees them and tries to hide his pool kit from them.]

Leni: Hey, Linc! Wanna chill with us?

Luan: 'Chill'! Good one, Leni! [giggles]

Leni: Good what?

Lincoln: Thanks, but I don't mind the heat. But, uh, you guys keep cool in here. Definitely no reason to go outside. I wouldn't even bother looking out there. Am I talking to much? I feel like I'm talking to much. [leaves]

Lisa: He's clearing suffering the first symptoms of heat stroke. Now pass the frozen succotash.

[Lynn tosses the succotash to her.]

[Lincoln washes the pool and refills it while his sisters watch and the party continues; Luan and Leni are playing Marco Polo.]

Luan: Marco!

Leni: Marco!

Luan: No, Leni. I'm Marco. You're Polo.

Leni: Then who's Leni?

Changing the Baby [1.8B]

Lincoln: Give her back, Lori!

Lori: Why should you get her? I've literally been waiting 17 years for someone in this family who likes the things I like.

Leni: (off-screen) HELP!

(Lincoln and Lori rush into Lily's bedroom where Leni is stuck in Lily's crib)

Leni: (sighs) Oh, thank goodness. I got in here to show Lily my fashion magazine, but now I can't get out of this baby prison! (cries)

(Lori and Lincoln help Leni out of Lily's crib)

Lincoln: Upsy-daisy.

Lori: There you go, Leni.

Leni: Agoo!

Cover Girls [1.15a]

Save the Date [1.15b]

[Lincoln digs around in his pants and pulls out a sloppy joe with a note]

Classmate #4: [takes the note; reading] "Happy Sloppy Joe Tuesday, Lame-o. Signed, Ronnie-Anne."

Classmate #3: And there's a heart!

Classmates: (smugly) Ooh! (singsong) Lincoln's got a girlfriend!

Lincoln: What?! No, I don't!

Classmate #3: When's the wedding day, Lincoln?

Lincoln: [annoyed] Ha, ha. Very funny, guys.

Lincoln: Guys, Ronnie-Anne is not my girlfriend. She's rude and gross and totally annoying! I'd rather lick the bathroom floor than kiss that weirdo.

(Ronnie-Anne gasps over what Lincoln said about her)

Lincoln: Ronnie-Anne!

(Ronnie-Anne scowls at Lincoln and leaves)

[As Lincoln returns home from school…]

Lori: [lividly] You MONSTER! [throws a tissue box at him, hitting him in the head]

Lincoln: Ow! What was that for?

Lori: You made Ronnie-Anne CRY!

Lincoln: Cry? I didn't mean to. Wait, how do you know? [quickly dodges as Lori angrily throws a teddy bear]

Lori: Bobby told me... [starts breaking down in tears] Right before he broke up with ME!!! [sobs]

Lincoln: What? Why does Bobby care?

Lori: [opens up a photo book of her, Bobby, and Ronnie-Anne] Because Bobby is literally Ronnie-Anne's brother! He said he could never date someone related to someone who hurts someone he's related to, or something like that!

Lincoln: Ronnie Anne has a brother? I thought she was raised by trolls.

Lori: [screams angrily; throwing CDs at him] THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT BOBBY WAS TALKING ABOUT!

Lori: [to Lincoln and Ronnie Anne with Bobby, wrapping their arms around each other] Guess who's back together!

Lincoln & Ronnie-Anne: [simultaneously] Babe and Bobby Boo-Boo Bear?

Lincoln: Clyde, you gotta get me out of here!

Clyde: What? Why?

[Lincoln points to his classmates who teased him earlier at the table]

Classmate #1: Hey, guys, there's a band in the bathroom!

Lincoln: I can't let those guys see me on a date with Ronnie-Anne. I just convinced them she's not my girlfriend.

Classmate #4: Hey, Lincoln. What you doing at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet?

Lincoln: I'm just here with family… friends… I mean, family friends.

Classmate #4: Isn't that Ronnie-Anne?

Lincoln: No. Uh… I mean, maybe. I didn't know she was here.

Classmate #4: [notices Lincoln's khaki pants] Hey, are those khakis? [gasps] You're wearing date pants!

Classmate #3: I knew it! Ronnie Anne is your girlfriend!

Lori: (off-screen) LINCOLN!

(Lori and Bobby are angry, and Ronnie-Anne is in tears again and runs away)

Bobby: We're broken up again, babe. I mean, Lori.

(Lori cries again)

Ronnie-Anne: [to Lincoln, after slapping him in the face; sharply] Lincoln Loud, how dare you kiss me at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet! You are rude and gross and totally annoying! I'd rather lick the bathroom floor than kiss you. [storms away]

Classmate #1: Sorry, dude.

Trent: That was harsh.

Classmate #3: Girls are intense, man.

Classmate #4: It's okay to be single.

Classmate #5: Your bros are here for you, bro.