Book of Humorous Quotations, ed. Connie Robertson (1998), page 83

• Honest women are inconsolable for the mistakes they haven't made.

• You can pretend to be serious but you can't pretend to be witty.

• The little I know, I owe to my ignorance.

• When a man marries his mistress, he creates a job vacancy.
  • Usually erroneously attributed to Sir James Goldsmith, see The Daily Telegraph (London) in July 1997.
• When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.